Hi! Welcome to another keeping it real post. This month, I wanted to write a follow-up post to the February keeping it real post. After I hit publish on The Truth About Being a Mom and ‘Having it All’, I had a chance to reflect and think. I still stand by what I said. I still think it is impossible for women to have ‘it all’, but at the same time, I also sort of lied to you in the last post.
Like I said, I still 100% stand by what I said in The Truth About Being a Mom and ‘Having it All’. I really don’t think women can have it all. I don’t think men can either, but I’m only talking to women and Moms at the moment.
The problem is that the more I thought about it the more I realized that while that is true. It is also true that I have ‘it all.’
Yep, I totally sound like I’m talking out of both sides of my head, don’t I? Let me explain just a bit.
For me, from the time I was a teenager, all I ever wanted was to be a mom. People would talk about what kind of career they longed for. I longed to be a mom. At times, I’ve felt like I was supposed to want something different, but for me being a mom was my main goal in life. Not to say that I didn’t and don’t have career ambitions. I owned my own Speech-Language Pathology practice prior to having children. I own/run this blog, which is a business. I love owning a business. In terms of what is most fulfilling to me. I would pick being a mom hands down. Even on the bad days…well sort of. 😉
Look at those two amazing humans that I am blessed to have as part of my life. I’m blessed that they call me Mom. I’m amazed at how loving and caring and forgiving they can be. Just yesterday when we had a truly bad start to the day in which I started with a lovely yell fest at mistakes that were made. I’m amazed they aren’t still mad at me. Yet somehow they find it within themselves to let it go much faster than I can. They are able to let it go and when I apologize to them, they say it is OK. Of course I feel worse when they say OK and yet I can tell they mean it. It amazes me.
So here is the catch 22 and why I lied to you…sort of. I didn’t really lie to you as I still stand by what I shared last month, but I also know that I do have it all. In terms of the things that matter. I 100% have it all. I have the family I always wanted. I am a mom. I always wanted to be a mom. I’m not sure there is more to worry about when you boil things down.
When it comes to the end of my life, I can guarantee you I’m not going to worry about whether or not the house was clean or the laundry was folded. I’m probably not going to reflect on whether or not I had the perfect art on the walls or the best mantel that spring. Though I love all those things and have a blast creating. I can guarantee you that I’m going to think about what I did in the relationships I had with my family and with my girls. I know I will value the fact that I had the chance to be a mom. That I was graced with these two lives. I will probably think about harsh words that were said and hope that I didn’t crush their spirits. I will probably hope that I continued to grown and learn, but almost none of the stuff that I worry about and that was in that post last month, will matter. You know, the whole having a perfect house or perfect dinner on the table every night or even having all the laundry folded. At once.
That is why I say I lied…sort of. I do have it all. I totally don’t have it all together, but I have something so much better!
I’ve been entrusted with these two lives. I’m screwing up many times over. They are being gracious and loving me anyway. I’m trying to learn and grow so I do the best I can do. I’m trying to be mindful and thoughtful with the preciousness I’ve been given. I am truly lucky to be their mom. It is the best thing I have ever done in my life. All I can do is work toward being wise with having it all.
You can have it all, too. In fact you may very well have it all right now. Your having ‘it all’ will most likely look different from mine, embrace it. Enjoy having it all. Enjoy every precious minute of whatever your all is.
Let’s try to let go of the concept that having it all means that we are perfect. Rather, let’s look at having it all as embracing what we have while learning and growing as we live our dreams and having it all. Sounds lovely doesn’t it? It sure does to me. It sounds so much more peaceful and less stressful. It sounds like we would be choosing to live from the core of who we are and who we are created to be. I strive to live in that place….I suck at it, but I strive to live in that place.
What about you? Do you have it all? Do you struggle to embrace it and let the other stuff go? I’d love to hear. I’d also love to hear the ways in which you are able to embrace having it all and letting the other stuff go. Can’t wait to hear your thoughts!
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